Sex.


Oh yes, my dears, sex.


I haven't been this hot for a guy in... well, a very long time. Not even HE made me this hot....

Current Mood: horny
Current Music: TBS

I am very bad with this updating thing. Oh well. :-P

Auditions are this weekend! Actually, the plan is to leave with two hours... Yeah, I'm gonna throw up. Sooo nervous.

So something's wrong with Morgan's brother. I hope he's okay. :-/ I'm actually really worried about him. So pray for him, if you're into that kinda thing.

Send me bunches of texts this weekend! 443 605 5165 and wish me good luck!

Time to go pack... as I haven't even started yet.

Current Mood: anxious

So I finally got around to uploading my Homecoming pictures. They're beyond late, but here they are... :-P

( HC pics! [[+10]] )

Current Mood: accomplished

I was told that they won't take a chance on me for captain next year. I guess that's okay... I was really disappointed when I was told that. But what can I do?

ACC's. Yes, marching band is finally over. For this season. We got 13th place with 89.25. We went down .7 of a point from Chapters, but we went up in placing. We went in 14th and came out 13th. So that's good.

The wind section did one last run-through of the show after we got back from Scranton. The three seniors outside of the arc and the rest of them in next year's arc. Mike, JD, and Patrick stood outside and when the show started they didn't play. And then when they came to an important part of the show, they started playing. And I cried because I knew that it was an awesome season. And I knew that it wouldn't ever be that way again. It was worth all the hard work and the fights... it was worth everything I put into it.

I have practice tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday. Hahaha, it never really stops for me. I have to get ready for auditions on Friday. I am so nervous. I think I might actually chicken out, but I'm trying not to.

Okay, I have to clean now. It's why I stayed home today, lol. I promised my mom I would clean the week after ACC's. And I have no time except to stay home. It's a little pathetic, if you ask me.

Current Mood: contemplative

I promise, I'm okay. Or I'm getting there, at least.

All day practice today. Guard party tonight (without MORGAN!) I'm sorry... is it so horrible of me to hate her? I just can't bring myself to like her... some people, you just don't get along with. She's most certainly one of those people. I just can't do it. I tried, once upon a time. But it faded away. There's been too much shit. Those of you who know the situation, can you really blame me?

Anyway, report time at Century tomorrow at 5:45 in the morning. Yeah, I'm gonna die. Thankfully, I get to go right back to sleep for four hours on the bus. YES! We get back sometime around 6 or 7. Don't worry, I'll post the final score and rank when I get home. Whenever that is... haha

So, time to go to Leslie's for the party! YAY!


And note- Apples to Apples is the best game ever.

Current Mood: amused

Today was not a good day. I cried four times today. Three of those times were during practice. I don't really know why I started to cry, but once I started, I couldn't stop. The second time we did a run-through of the opener, I started crying right when we did the first stutter step. I kept going through the work and went until the end of the opener. I was still sobbing. And I don't really know why.

Something else happened today, but I feel like I shouldn't say it. Because it was dumb. And I feel like you guys would just laugh at me. I don't like it when people laugh at me, even joking.

Maybe I should just say it...

Caitlin called me fat. No wait, she called me the "fat ugly girl in guard." And even though she might have been joking, she still said it seriously enough that I was really hurt. And I looked in the mirror when I got home and I realized that she's right. I hate myself. I'm not even a good person to make up for the ugliness. I'm just... bad all around.

And there's time number five. It doesn't make me feel any better. It really makes me feel worse.

I don't even deserve to live. And I don't know if I want to anymore.

Why the fuck should I care? It's not like it matters...









But, to me, it really does. It matters more than you know and the funny thing is, I'll always tell you that I don't give a shit.

Current Mood: listless

I am acting like a captain again. But the thing is, I'm doing it intentionally. You want to know why? Because I want to be captain for Indoor and my senior year. I've got this game figured out (or at least, I hope so) and I plan to get captain. I'm making the instructors aware of what I want and what I can do.

I'm also auditioning for the Crossmen. Can you believe that? I don't know if I'll make it... but I'm definitely going to try... I'm gonna try my hardest! Wish me good luck, the auditions are in a week and a half in New Jersey. Umm... yeah, I'm nervous.

Okay, sleep time. I have been getting to bed earlier and earlier every night. Yay.

Current Mood: determined

Last night was no good. I was so upset and I don't even really know why.

It's a good thing that I didn't go out last night.

I am looking forward to the end of band season. And I am really looking forward to beginning of the indoor season. I'm pretty sure I know which one I'm gonna do. Before I really put it out there, I'm gonna make sure it's what I really want. I'm pretty sure though...

The competition was my best last night. The guard got a score of 17.0, which is the highest any Century colorguard has ever scored. We won Best Percussion, Best Marching, and Best Drum Major. Jen got an 18.7! It was pretty awesome, she was soo happy.

We got second place, though. By two points. Riverhill. It was to be expected, I knew it was coming. It was still very disappointing. I cried when they called our name as second place. Not only did we lose, but we missed breaking 90 by .5 of a point. Yes, 2003 anyone?

I worked from nine this morning until three this morning and I work again at five. I have no idea what I'm doing tonight... they might put me anywhere. lol.

I'm trying out for the Crossmen. We'll see how it ends up. Wish me luck you guys!

Current Mood: amused